Sunday, December 30, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do?
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you,
and deliver some things just inside your front door ,
things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, and to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair,
before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted,
so things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back,
till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin,
so you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
no searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,
from a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa.
I'm simply just me, the matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot!
Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere Merry Christmas to you
and a Happy New Year.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I've been playing around with new technique look which is frustrating me to no end, I haven't been happy with anything I've made, and my normally sweet, loving, supportive husband turns into the Grinch! He hates Christmas, the whole Christmas season, the presents, the wrapping, the trimming, the trappings, and the noise, noise, noise!!! Sound familiar yet? I'm telling you Jim Carey hung out in my neighborhood the Christmas before making that movie and patterned the Grinch after DH! I think Mr. Carey should send me half the royalities for that movie just for my aggravation!!!
Anyway, I sat down tonight to try to come up with something for my weekly Demonstrator Workshop Wow Challenge over at SCS (since the technique I'm working on doesn't seem to want to cooperate) I decided to go with a Faux Tearing look. This is what I came up with...
For "Faux Tearing" you just tear a piece of scrap paper, lay it down on your cardstock, stamp your desired image, the slide the scrap paper down about a 1/2 inch and then sponge heavily using the scrap paper as a mask.
Then, just because I wanted to share the love, I thought that wasn't enough of a challenge and I decided to make it mono-chromatic with just a touch of metallic and glitter.
So I ended up with a triple challenge:
You must do the Faux Tearing technique
You must make it Mono-chromatic
You must use a touch of metallic/glimmer
What do you think, good enough challenge? Will this break my Christmas Grumpy streak?
Stay tuned, I'll let you know!